I never liked being kept out of the loop. Why wouldn’t Jenny and Clark tell me what it meant? I was old enough to know!
“Do you know what that even means?” Jenny had asked, and when Clark and I told her we didn’t she leaned in cupped her hands around Clark’s ear to tell him a secret. His face grimaced as she whispered, then she said, “You’re too young to know, Russell.”
“I am not too young! I’m four and Clark’s five!” I protested. “Tell me.”
“It’s only for us big kids to know” she said.
The whole family had just walked out of my big sister’s dance recital. It was Jenny’s big day to show her dancing skills, and one of the tunes from one of the dance routines was “Let’s get physical… physical… I wanna get physical. Let me hear your body talk… your body talk. Let me hear your body talk.” Remember that tune? It was pretty new at the time back in the early 1980’s and it stuck in our heads. Clark and I were singing it as we walked to the car even though we didn’t know what it meant.
How aggravating! Clark now knew what it meant and Jenny had made him promise not to tell me. Why the big secret? What did it mean?
Clark and I shared absolutely everything. If one of us had a birthday, we both considered it our day to receive gifts. I thought receiving information was the same way, but it looked like I was wrong. He wouldn’t crack. He wouldn’t tell me what it meant.
I found out, though. Within a month my mom came to me and told me something that explained it all. No, no, no. Mom didn’t tell me what the song meant, but she told me we were going somewhere where I’d find out.
“We need to go to the doctor today,” Mom said.
“What for?”
“You’re starting kindergarten next month and you need your check up.”
“What’s that mean?”
“It means the doctor will give you the shots you need before you can start school and you’ll be getting a physical.”
There it was! There was that mysterious word again- physical! Jenny couldn’t keep it a secret from me any longer. I was gonna get a physical… physical… I was gonna get a physical.
Doc looked in my ears, but I didn’t think that was it. Doc put a cold stethoscope on my bare chest, but I was pretty sure that wasn’t it either. He stuck a painful needle into my left arm. Ow! That was definitely not something to write a song about.
“Okay, I need you to take off your pants?” Doc said.
I looked over at Mom, who nodded her head. People didn’t ask me to take off my pants. I just wasn’t comfortable with that. Still, I did what I was told.
“And your underwear too,” Doc said.
Again, Mom nodded when I looked over at her as if to ask “Am I supposed to do that?”
I didn’t want to do it. I hesitated and just looked back and forth between Mom and the doctor.
“It’s okay, Russell,” Mom said.
“Okay,” I said. “But only if I can keep my socks on.”
I don’t have a ton of vivid memories about being 4 years old, but I remember standing there on top of the doctor’s table thinking “At least I’m not completely naked. Why did I wear brown socks today?” Yes, I remember very clearly thinking that.
So this was what a physical was. Now I could see why Jenny wouldn’t tell me and why she told Clark. Clark had already had a physical a year earlier when he started kindergarten- I hadn’t. Physicals were no fun at all, which made me wonder why on earth someone would write such a catchy song about it. What a weird messed up group of people those dancers were to want to dance to something like that! True story.
“Do you know what that even means?” Jenny had asked, and when Clark and I told her we didn’t she leaned in cupped her hands around Clark’s ear to tell him a secret. His face grimaced as she whispered, then she said, “You’re too young to know, Russell.”
“I am not too young! I’m four and Clark’s five!” I protested. “Tell me.”
“It’s only for us big kids to know” she said.
The whole family had just walked out of my big sister’s dance recital. It was Jenny’s big day to show her dancing skills, and one of the tunes from one of the dance routines was “Let’s get physical… physical… I wanna get physical. Let me hear your body talk… your body talk. Let me hear your body talk.” Remember that tune? It was pretty new at the time back in the early 1980’s and it stuck in our heads. Clark and I were singing it as we walked to the car even though we didn’t know what it meant.
How aggravating! Clark now knew what it meant and Jenny had made him promise not to tell me. Why the big secret? What did it mean?
Clark and I shared absolutely everything. If one of us had a birthday, we both considered it our day to receive gifts. I thought receiving information was the same way, but it looked like I was wrong. He wouldn’t crack. He wouldn’t tell me what it meant.
I found out, though. Within a month my mom came to me and told me something that explained it all. No, no, no. Mom didn’t tell me what the song meant, but she told me we were going somewhere where I’d find out.
“We need to go to the doctor today,” Mom said.
“What for?”
“You’re starting kindergarten next month and you need your check up.”
“What’s that mean?”
“It means the doctor will give you the shots you need before you can start school and you’ll be getting a physical.”
There it was! There was that mysterious word again- physical! Jenny couldn’t keep it a secret from me any longer. I was gonna get a physical… physical… I was gonna get a physical.
Doc looked in my ears, but I didn’t think that was it. Doc put a cold stethoscope on my bare chest, but I was pretty sure that wasn’t it either. He stuck a painful needle into my left arm. Ow! That was definitely not something to write a song about.
“Okay, I need you to take off your pants?” Doc said.
I looked over at Mom, who nodded her head. People didn’t ask me to take off my pants. I just wasn’t comfortable with that. Still, I did what I was told.
“And your underwear too,” Doc said.
Again, Mom nodded when I looked over at her as if to ask “Am I supposed to do that?”
I didn’t want to do it. I hesitated and just looked back and forth between Mom and the doctor.
“It’s okay, Russell,” Mom said.
“Okay,” I said. “But only if I can keep my socks on.”
I don’t have a ton of vivid memories about being 4 years old, but I remember standing there on top of the doctor’s table thinking “At least I’m not completely naked. Why did I wear brown socks today?” Yes, I remember very clearly thinking that.
So this was what a physical was. Now I could see why Jenny wouldn’t tell me and why she told Clark. Clark had already had a physical a year earlier when he started kindergarten- I hadn’t. Physicals were no fun at all, which made me wonder why on earth someone would write such a catchy song about it. What a weird messed up group of people those dancers were to want to dance to something like that! True story.
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